There isn’t a single thing funnier than a middle-aged dance instructor riling up a group of other middle-aged moms to the point of lawsuits.

 

Except, perhaps there soon will be.

 

Lifetime is jumping on the spinoff reality show bandwagon with its new show Dance Moms: Miami (a spin-off of Dance Moms, currently in its second season).

 

Premiering at 9:30 p.m. April 3, the show is based in a Miami dance studio, Stars Dance Studio. Owners and renowned contemporary dance instructors, Victor Smalley and Angel Armas are front and center to teach and mold the young dancers brought to them by a group of moms who will surely take gossip to a whole other level.

 

The very trailers for this show have put the moms in the original Dance Moms to shame. Really. Who doesn’t get an ironic laugh out of a grown woman who thinks the world hates her and her daughter because they’re just too beautiful?

 

Pure reality show gold.

 

I can’t say the same for other spinoff reality shows of the past. Does anyone remember the original Laguna Beach on MTV? You know, the show chocked full of silly teenage fights and so much drama that even on your worst day, you knew your life couldn’t be this messed up? That show had me hooked from the get-go. I mean, in that it’s-so-bad-you-have-to-watch kind of way And then there was the Hillary Duff theme song—of which was permanently etched in my brain after just a few episodes.

 

However, after three seasons, it went into the black hole where all reality shows go to die when their characters have become boring or too old to continue in the show.

 

Then we were subjected to the so-bad-you-can-hardly-watch spin-off show, The Hills. Revealed to be an almost completely scripted “reality” show in the series finale, The Hills was Laguna Beach hyped on Pixie Stix. If I never hear the infamous couple’s name “Spidey” again, it’ll be too soon.

 

To further drive the stake in the heart of spinoff shows, do I really even need to describe the shows that have sprung forth from the original Keeping up with the Kardashians?

 

Oy vey.

 

Words could never truly capture the level of stupidity and uselessness that has materialized in all of its spinoff shows. Who knew someone could become so famous without actually being that interesting?

 

But I digress. Dance Moms: Miami is going to fill the void that will be left when the original series ends its current season, also on April 3.

 

Bring on the sassy pants moms and kids who don’t realize they’re actually kids. My Tuesday night reality show quota will be officially met.